In finding the courage lies the magic beyond everything
I travel, I feel, I connect, I heal
My most recent travels have proven me stronger then ever before, how I have come to embody this very personal tagline…
After deciding to leave my corporate job without a plan for the future… I made a spontaneous decision to finally go on a journey to Israel.
A journey that I longed for since 2,5 years…
A journey filled with grief that was meant to get a special and intentional goodbye…
A journey that would open up my heart again for life’s hidden gems to find me again…
A journey that was loaded with emotions and expectations…
A journey to let go of what no longer served me…
A journey of grief for someone so dear to me that will forever be my favorite what if…
A journey of grief over the person I was and loved in a job long gone…
And what this journey has brought me, was all of that… once I surrendered!
I started this journey in my head, telling myself not to have expectations (even though I had been building up and creating stories of what it could/should be like for about 2,5 years). Convinced that disappointment would not affect me, convinced it would be this uber romantic last goodbye, finding the grave of someone I love, leaving behind something meaningful on his grave…
Because I arrived on Shabbat, I was sure I would be forced to slow down and get out of my head… I thought I had planned it perfectly, I thought I knew exactly what I needed, I walked the beaches taking pictures and testing my new lenses for the camera, all Saturday long, I went out for dinner… And still, all day long, I was stuck in my head, scared I would not get to see enough of Israel and the sacred places one should visit, eat the lovely foods, have the experiences one should have when in Israel, but most of all scared I would not find his grave and would not be able to say the goodbye for which I had traveled so far…
The magic however does not show up in perfect plans and romantic stories
The magic shows when finding the courage and acceptance of that what cannot be planned
The magic shows when the mind allows feelings to come up and be the co-pilot in navigating the journey
The magic shows when connecting to a place and the people around you
The magic shows when healing is given space because the grief is no longer serving your journey
The magic showed up when I started to embody “I travel, I feel, I connect, I heal”
At the cemetery , witnessing a funeral, not being able to find his grave, I gave in, letting all emotions flow, tears pouring down my face… that is when I felt stronger then ever, that grief was what kept me stuck in illusions that goodbyes needed to look a certain way…
Finally I could accept and feel the magic of his presence in my heart, in a place where he will forever be my guide and guardian angel, giving me the courage to spread my wings and chase the sun
Finally I can really see that our strong connection will be one that is a unique soul connection, tailor made to support me in following my unique path in life
Finally I believe with all my heart that moving in every sense of the word is what my soul intended to do on this earth one last time…
I TRAVEL, I FEEL, I CONNECT, I HEAL
©️📸 Natalie Verstappen
